How to Tell If You're Ready for Marriage
- Are you in touch with your feelings?
- Can you live with yourself? (Can you be alone and enjoy it (autonomy); Can you accept and be happy with your identity?)
- Can you communicate your needs? (Can you own your needs, do people know what you want, or do they have to guess?)
- Can you face your problems instead of blaming them on somebody else?
- Can you see your future mate as he/she really is (not idealizing them)?
- Can this person meet your needs, or do you need something so desperately you can't see straight. (A spouse should not be expected to provide a person what he/she did not get from parents.)
- Can you really share, give and take (healthy interdependence), rather than too dependent or too independent?
- Are you aware of the influence your family of origin may have had on you and your expectations (fears and desires) about marriage, about your mate, roles in the marriage?
- Can you trust and accept yourself and others?
- Are you willing to work at sharing, compromising, and managing inevitable differences?
(Adapted from The marriage Gap by Stanley Rosner and Laura Hobe)